juz got dis urge 2 blog everydae...but den e urge wasnt strong enuff 2 push me 2 do so..todae kinda did..was juz deep in thoughts these daes..tinkin bout lotsa stuffs...nw dat could b hazardous..haha..

gp results was bad..real bad...a drop of 15 marks frm jct...datz like 3 grades? haha..i dun even noe wad i was doin durin prelims den..results r so sucky dat b4 i received e paper i knew it was gonna b somthing bad cuz bad things tend 2 happen all at once...but i wasnt as affected as daes a few daes bac...when i would certainly n conveniently welcome a drunk driver or sum killer litterer...i really wldnt mind den..e results kinda sparked everything off...n results was juz a spark n wasnt e underlyin causes...like i said...everything juz piles up...right nw...carn sae im feeling much better..perhaps i juz need sum1 hu can help me get outtta dis crap..

i tend 2 do realli useless stuff..like todae..i actually read up on Einstein theory of relativity e quantum physics n all dat jazz when it has nothing 2 do wif mi studies at all...it was realli intruiging though n im realli curious bout all these stuff...but at dis pt in time..perhaps i shld get down 2 proper revision already...i guess e time for feeling remorseful is over...n dis wake-up call is ringing louder in mi ears den ever...

one article talked about moving at e speed of light...it is said dat if 1 travels at e speed of light time wld slow down for u...n u age slower n all dat..n if u travel sufficiently fast enough...u could go bac in time...n hey...datz mi greatest wish..haha...2 travel nac in time..at present it seems impossible 2 do dat...im nt so sure abt e future though..im a physics amateur here n mayb datz y dere's no time machine present right nw as u cannot travel into e future but onli can into e past...i dno..juz some crapy guess...

every1 shld b given a chance i blieve...n by goin bac in time we can make sure e same mistake doesnt happen..we learn frm our mistakes but sometimes e consequences r juz too much 2 bear n dere might b no chance of making up watsoever..n so we shld go bac n nt repeat e mistake...but fact is time moves 4wrd n nt backwards...i realli wanna go bac bcause i wanna relive e moment...r eminiscing i blieve iz a moment of sadness..knowin v well u cannot find bac those times..haha..i wonder abt hw us humans can b so contradictin at times..i look 4wrd 2 e future..but i realli wanna go bac 2 e past...n dere r times dat u wish u had sum1 by ur side but den again u rather nt...i tink datz hw people feel sumtimes...

if i cld go bac...i wld briefly stop at e period around Oct2004..
den go bac 2 sec3 n experience e moments i had wif 3/4gr...e time i met royce n charlie..e times spent playin e skateboard in class n slpin in class n rushin for bball after sch..den i stop for a long time at e sec2 period..e time when i met mi best buddies like jas gh n zr...e frenship i blive will last all e way..n at dat time goin 2 sch iz more fun den anything else..for once in mi life i found dat sch is so fun 2 attend..so im gonna stop at 2hm for quite some while..datz oso e time when i was residing in avon park...e condo nt far frm where i live nw..i love dat hse e most..e view of e pool at night is juz so perfect..den i'll perhaps stop briefly at e period when we went for our china trip in sec1...havin ttk as mi roommate for dat trip was interestin...remembered we broke all e curfews n sneaked out 2 plae n got caught..hahaz..

nxt i'll stop for quite some time in primary sch...primary5-1 n 6-1..frens like ivan n weiling..though nw we seemed 2 hav got 2gether less...those times where we spent time playin hopscotch n badminton n diggin for worms n meetin at e playgrnd at 5pm everydae n caught fished in e big big drain...

den after dat i'll stop v long at primary 1 n 2...datz cause datz e time i spent everidae wif mi gu gu..or auntie..i duno dat in english..i realli miss her alot..laz wk when i visited her it juz brought bac lotsa memories..another of mi wish iz dat she'll outlive me...she took care of me for bout 5 yrs...from kindergarden 2 pri sch...n those were e most precious years of mi life..i love her cookin...her way of takin care of me..n her love for me...kallang bahru was realli like mi 'kampong' of mi younger years..i spent those times like most children do..playin in e playgrnd..goin downstairs in e tiny blue uniform to PAP..i oso spent time throwin seeds into e kallang river..n collectin saga seeds oso..listenin 2 songs like out of e blue(michael learns 2 rock)..top of e world...den chinese songs like wo men zhe yi ban..e aiyoyo song etc...realli threw me into e embrace of e past again ...everything juz floods bac...

after all those trips....once again..i'll move bac 2 e period of oct 2004 n let time freeze dere...n let dat time b a never-ending looping tape dat replays n replays..

mi nose iz gettin realli runny...duno hw many trips i made 2 e toilet for dis entry..din expect dis entry 2 turn so emotional...im sorry for e borin content dat looks like an autobiography..

realli worried bout mi dad's health...wish dat he stays healthy 4eva..

mi gd frens n havin their bdaes soon..ivan frm f4 bdae iz on oct13...n another ivan of mi pri sch is on oct14...den mine iz at 15oct....v coincidental huhz..haha...honestly...dis yr's bdae will nv b betta den laz yr's...in fact...i tink it will b cold n lonely..like e 16th bdae..i juz aint keen 2 grow older anymore...life gets worse after 16 i tink..

was watchin e tian guo de jie ti juz nw...n e ending dere's a phrase like dis..'i wanna b ur fren...let's b frens 4eva shall we? Lovers may part but frenship will last for eternity....' i realli like dis phrase...it serves for me as some sort of a small comfort...but hey...we blieve in nt love for eternity but were once in love? i blieve in e former though..datz y im realli happy n touched 2 c realli old couples holdin hands n walkin slowly alongside each other even though their hair is white..mi neighbours are old couples...n i realise hw happy dey are everydae...i tink dat iz realli realli cool..

i do sound kinda philosophical n dreamy todae...

hope mi mood improves ovr e nxt few daes..

JaCky blogged on 11:48 PM

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